Song of the Day: It Was Written by Damian Marley
T-minus: 59 days
Haven’t written anything in awhile, mainly because work has been giving me a major headache, so the nights I planned on typing up a post, I had come home beyond stressed out and livid about work. Then we went to a pre-natal session which put us both in a foul mood. Then I have had some really bad sick-days. And that is not to say the last few weeks haven’t been wonderful, honestly, they’ve been pretty good outside of those factors. Matt and I have been enjoying some movie-time, and we’ve found a hilarous British talk show on Netflix, which talks about cars, and it’s absolutely brilliant, it’s just been frustrating dealing with the other outside factors in my life right now. Heads up, long post.
So to recap the last couple of weeks:
I think the one thing I have learned, first and foremost, is that it really is okay to trust yourself.
And a big thanks Fal for that reminder. It is so easy to get caught up in the Baby-Industry-Complex, that you can quickly lose sight of what is necessary, versus what you’re told you need. Or torn between what this source says, and another. There is no cut and dry with this, no black and white, no right or wrong (unless you’re being negligent).
The last pre-natal session we went to, Matt and I left very annoyed. I had always thought pre-natal would be an information session, a safe place to ask questions about what all of our options are. Sadly, that doesn’t appear to be the case, and I have heard this from many others in their experiences with the Public Health forum in this province. This particular session was covering breast feeding, I had heard that Public Health really pushes breast feeding, but I didn’t realize how much of a controversy it could, and would be.
To breastfeed, is a choice. Sometimes it’s a choice made based on your lifestyle, or your situation, but at the end of the day, it is a choice. The Registered Nurses running our pre-natal class didn’t believe this to be the case. Yes, breastfeeding is a bonding thing, it is a health thing, it is a natural thing, but I don’t think it is something that should be forced upon you. A friend of mine had a baby last year, it was her second child, and she breast fed her first child for quite some time, but her second wouldn’t latch, but she felt that the nurses in the hospital were forcing her, pressuring her, and judging her.
During the session, the RN asked what we had heard from friends/family on their experiences with breast feeding (as all of us are first-time Mamas), and I pointed out about my friends experience. Well, the RN didn’t like that, and from there sprung the controversy.
It was about sixteen extremely pregnant women and their partners against the RN. She became defensive. We all had questions about options, and the RN didn’t answer anyone. She would go on these long spiels about breastfeeding, like it was the ONLY option available, or she would start to say something, then ask “well is that what you’re planning on doing?”
“Um… no, I am hear to ask questions about my options.”
I think most of us felt genuinely annoyed at the direction being forced upon us, because anything, any of us, had to say was responded to with something about “well breastfeeding is the best, blah blah blah.”
And I am not saying breastfeeding is bad. Not in any way do I believe it’s a bad thing, I think it’s a great thing if that works for you. I want to breastfeed, but I am not going to stress myself and my newborn out because I am told I HAVE to, if it’s not working. At the end of the day, Baby needs nourishment, and if Mama can’t provide it, Baby won’t be happy.
I get it, the first couple days, the funny coloured milk (can’t remember the name of it) is the best for them, but for some women, breastfeeding immediately doesn’t work. I am not going to be naive, and say “I am going to breastfeed from day one, and I’m going to do it until the child is X number of months old“, because that would be foolish of me to do so. This is the approach Matt and I have taken in all aspects of our pregnancy. Ideally, we would love if I could have a natural birth, but if something comes up, we understand that a C-section would be necessary. I would love to say “I can do this birth without the epidural“, but frankly, I’m a pussy when it comes to pain, so I am happy to know the epidural is there, and available for me if I decide I would like to have it. And I would love to be able to breastfeed, but if my baby doesn’t latch, and it’s stressing me out, other options will need to be considered for the sake of ensuring my baby is fed, and we can try breast feeding again next time.
I’m just trying to be realistic. If I tell myself “this is what is going to happen” I will more than likely be upset when it doesn’t work out the way I had wanted. I’m a perfectionist by nature, so having accepted from day one that I cannot control everything in my pregnancy helps. I know how I look at things, I know I will be upset if I plan for things to be one way, and they turn out to be another. So instead, I plan for all scenarios.
Work has become ridiculously stressful. I am not supposed to stand for prolonged periods of time, so I am restricted to working weekends now, because that is the only way I am ensured to have someone working the shift with me. Otherwise, I would be working solo, and if it’s a busy night, I can’t be running around, trying to get things done, plus dealing with the customers, and lifting/bending for product for 4-5 hours by myself. This isn’t the end of the world to me, I was getting my 20 hours a week, but now we’ve hired the girl that is supposed to replace me (one month to learn a TON of stuff), and now I have to spend my last couple of weekends training her. Consequently, my hours have been cut in half to make up for her, our hours have been cut on top of that because the company wants us to do a million things, but doesn’t feel it necessary to give us hours to do it all, we don’t get any “free-training” hours to train new people, and work is just too much right now. I am only going to have approximately ten shifts left, but it feels so far away. I just wish I could be a normal part-timer. Not a part-timer who can fill in as the assistant with ease, who busts their ass to ensure everything is perfect every shift, and cares too much. It would be nice to be one of those part-timers who could just go to work and go home, then be done with it.
My boss also emailed to inform me about an Assistant Managers position in the community Matt and I would love to end up in, and pointed out she knew the timing isn’t great, but to keep in mind in case the person who takes the position doesn’t stick around, to keep my eye on it. I told her I appreciated the offer, but wasn’t focused on “future-work” plans at the moment, my priority is getting through the next month of shifts without crying at the end of the night, and wanting to punch every customer in the jugular. Besides, as much as we would love to move to this community, I sure as hell wouldn’t want that store. It’s in a different district (and I love our district manager, he’s the best, he was my manager when I started with the company), their store has been in a shit-pile for nearly a year, it’s small, apparently poorly organized, and it’s primary staff under management are people who are planning on moving away for school. I mean – what the hell? So the location is great, but the store, not so much.
Not that it matters, I am about to pop a baby out, and go on maternity leave for a year anyway.
We’re heading home to visit my folks this weekend for our baby showers, and I’m quite excited. I say showers because my folks live way out town, so it’s really inconvenient for a lot of people, and most people haven’t heard of the community, so one shower will be at Mom and Dad’s for neighbors and friends, then the other, will be at a friends in town for everyone else. This will hopefully make travelling a little more convenient on everyone.
It will be nice to see people I haven’t seen in ages, and nice to finally know what we’ll need to pick up for the nursery and the baby. Matt makes fun of me for it, but I LOVE to plan, and organize, and makes lists for everything, so having to wait so long before we can really get started on the nursery, and getting situated has been driving me crazy. There is something comforting about making a list and checking it off. Call me crazy, but it keeps me sane (and keeps Matt on track, too).
I’ve made a list of all of the items we, ideally, need to get, so after the showers, we can pick up the extras, plus this way, I can mark down what we have spent on everything, and who gave us what, so at the end, we can send out thank-you cards, and also have an idea of what we spent to get things together. We have picked up a few items so far:
- diaper genie (thanks to Kijiji!)
- a pack of bibs (matched the theme of the paintings I did)
- Montreal Canadians carrier cover (couldn’t resist)
- 30pk of wash clothes (marked clearance at Zellers since they’re closing out)
And we’ve hit up Frenchy’s a couple times and found some super cute items:
- blue/green overalls with some jungle animals on it
- Peter Rabbit hooded towel
- striped onesie that says “I’m new here”, and a picture of planet Earth
- some Halo brand sleep sacks (yeah, that’s right, Halo brand!)
Halo is a company that makes sleeping sacks for babys, which are awesome. They’re designed to replace the baby’s blanket, which reduces the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), and the chance of their kicking their blankets off and becoming cold in the night. I had been reading about them online, and thought if I could find something similar to it in store, I could make some in different sizes. We were out one night, and thought we should take a quick peek into Frenchy’s, and see if we could find anything, and lo and behold – a Halo brand sleep sack! It’s a size medium, and it’s a pale yellow, and we were so thrilled with our find! These things cost $24.95 USD plus shipping and handling, and exchange rate.
We paid $1.25 – BOOYAH!
Fast forward to a couple nights ago, and we’re out doing some errands and thought “why not pop into Frenchy’s again for a peek at some baby items again” and sure enough, we found another one, in white, but the newborn size. After, we went to the mall to kill some time while our car was getting it’s oil change, and we walked into a store Matt had heard had a big clearance on it’s baby/children section. So we’re wandering around, and pawing through everything, when we find two MORE Halo brand sleep sacks in size large and extra large – reduced to clear for $8 each!
So we could have bought these online at their regular price and paid over $100 plus taxes. Instead, we spent $20! Love it!
We honestly didn’t expect to find any sleep sacks anywhere, and especially not that cheap, either. So it was a pleasant surprise, because we really liked the idea of a sleep sack over blankets, and it makes a lot of sense. The Frenchy’s here is pretty good, every trip in now we’ve found something, even before we went looking for baby items, and were just looking for ourselves, so I think we’ll keep popping in.
Anyway, I believe I’ve rambled enough tonight. Time to curl up with a hot chocolate, and watch the snow fall. Hope you’re all safe and warm inside wherever this weather is hitting you.
Courtney & Matt